There is a common expression in my native language that says, “Fala udat sabi road.” Loosely translated, it means, “Follow the person who knows the way.” At first, it sounds like a simple instruction, almost like something an older person might say to a younger person who is about to make a questionable decision. But the older I become, the more I realize how much wisdom is contained in those words. Life is full of roads, crossroads, wrong turns and unfamiliar destinations. Sometimes, what we need is not someone to walk the entire journey for us, but someone who has travelled far enough to tell us what they learned along the way.
Trying To Figure Everything Out Alone
You might have heard the phrase “If you want to go fast go alone, if you want go far go together”. This is self-explanatory, you were not meant to go on life’s journey alone, you need a little help from those who have gone before you so that you do not make the same mistakes that they made, this is where mentorships comes in. as young person, the tendency to do everything by yourself is great yet, it does not have to be like that you need an extra hand to help you
“ a mentor is someone who sees talent and ability within you, than you see in yourself and helps bring it out of you”
Bob Protector
I had a friend by the name Marie, she had ideas, energy and the confidence to believe that she could build something meaningful with her life. She was not afraid of trying. Whenever an opportunity appeared, she pursued it. Whenever an idea came to her, she worked on it. Whenever something failed, she simply moved on to the next thing. Her philosophy was simple: keep trying until you figure it out.
For a while, it seemed to work. She started projects, explored different career opportunities, made investments and met people who introduced her to new possibilities. She was constantly moving. Yet, after some time, something began to feel wrong. The money she had invested was disappearing. Her energy was running low, and the excitement that once accompanied her ideas was slowly being replaced by exhaustion.
Marie eventually realized something many young people discover only after making several costly mistakes: movement is not always progress. You can be busy without being productive. You can be ambitious without being strategic. You can be moving quickly and still be heading in the wrong direction. One evening, after another disappointing day, Marie sat quietly and asked herself a question: What if I do not have to figure everything out by myself? It was a simple question, but it changed the way she approached her journey.
Meeting Someone Who Knew The Road
She decided that in order to reinvent herself something needed to change, she got a new job, she met someone who would eventually mentor her. Initially, she misunderstood what mentorship meant. She assumed having a mentor meant having someone experienced enough to tell her exactly what to do.
Instead, he asked questions.
When she comes excited about a new idea, he did not immediately tell her to pursue it. He asked why she wanted to pursue it. What problem was she solving? Who needed the solution? What did she know about the people she wanted to serve? What could go wrong? What was she overlooking?
Sometimes Marie left his office frustrated. She had arrived looking for answers and left with even more questions. Eventually, she understood, he was not trying to make her dependent on him. He was teaching her how to think. That is one of the most valuable things a mentor can offer. A mentor does not necessarily hand you a map with every turn marked. They teach you how to read the map.
Experience Can Save You From Unnecessary Detours
Research proves that young people have something powerful: potential and youthfulness; yet potential alone does not automatically come with perspective. Perspective often comes through experience, and experience takes time. A mentor may have made mistakes you have not yet made. They may have entered rooms you have never entered, handled situations you have never encountered and learned lessons that cannot easily be found in a textbook.
A Mentor Cannot Walk The Road For You
Mentorship, however, is not a shortcut around personal responsibility. A mentor cannot attend every meeting for you. They cannot develop your skills, build your reputation or make every difficult decision on your behalf. They can offer perspective, challenge your thinking, provide guidance and sometimes introduce you to opportunities. But you still have to do the work. This is where the responsibility of the mentee becomes important.
Marie began keeping notes after her conversations with her mentor. She observed how he communicated with clients, handled difficult conversations and prepared for meetings. She paid attention to how he treated people, particularly when there was nothing obvious to gain from them.
There is an important difference between imitation and learning. Good mentorship should not erase your individuality. It should help you develop your own abilities, judgment and professional identity.
Mentorship Is An Asset
Having a mentor is only the beginning. What you do with the relationship determines what you gain from it. A young person who has access to an experienced mentor can ask thoughtful questions, seek honest feedback, share goals and return to conversations with evidence of progress. Listening is important, but application is where development happens.
A mentor can open a door, but you have to walk through it. They can introduce you to someone, but you have to build the relationship. They can identify a weakness, but you have to work on it. Marie eventually understood that mentorship was not simply about having someone to call when she was confused. It was about becoming more capable over time.
The greatest sign that mentorship is working may be that the mentee gradually needs less instruction. They become better at asking questions, assessing opportunities and making decisions independently.
Becoming The Person, You Dreamt About
Years later, Marie found herself sitting across a young woman who reminded her of herself. She was ambitious, energetic and full of ideas. She was also making some of the same mistakes Marie had once made. Instead of giving her a long speech, Mari began asking questions. “Have you considered this? What happens if that plan does not work? What do you know about the people you are trying to reach? The young woman paused and suddenly, Marie realized something. She had become the person she once needed. Her mentor/ boss had not simply helped her advance professionally. He had helped her develop the capacity to eventually help someone else.
“This is one of the most beautiful things about mentorship. Knowledge does not have to stop with the person who receives it. It can travel from one generation to another”.
Sometimes, Wisdom means Knowing Whom To Follow
There is a growing pressure among young people to prove that they can do everything alone. Independence is valuable, but refusing to learn from people who have gone before us is not necessarily a sign of strength. We do not have to reinvent every road. There are people who have already travelled some of the places we are trying to reach. They know where they struggled. They know which decisions cost them time. They know what they wish they had understood earlier. This does not mean we should blindly follow anyone simply because they are older or more experienced. A mentor is not automatically right about everything. The relationship still requires discernment, mutual respect and the freedom to make our own decisions.
But sometimes, the smartest thing we can do is listening to someone who has been there before. That is what “Fala udat sabi road” means to me now.
It is not an invitation to surrender our independence. It is a reminder that we do not have to discover every road alone.
Then Perhaps we can say, after all the roads we have travelled, the mistakes we have made and the lessons we have gathered, we will be able to turn around and say,
“I have been there before. Let me show you what I learned.”
Fala Udat Sabi Road: Why Mentorship Matters On The Journey To Becoming
