40 Things I’ve Learned at 40: A Mini Masterclass in Growth, Purpose & Becoming

Turning forty is often framed as a milestone of arrival. For me, it is something far more sacred: a milestone I was not always certain I would reach.

My early years were marked by significant personal trials: near-death accidents, a season of facial paralysis, complex reproductive health battles including fibroids, adenomyosis and endometriosis, the private grief of infertility, business disappointments, personal failures and seasons of immense loss. There were moments when the future felt uncertain, when long-term planning felt aspirational rather than guaranteed.

Longevity was never something I took for granted.

Yet surviving is not the same as living.

Somewhere between hospital rooms, boardrooms, classrooms and prayer closets, a shift occurred. I began to understand the urgency of life: not as pressure, but as clarity. Because When time feels fragile, alignment becomes non-negotiable. You stop performing. You start prioritising. You become intentional about impact, stewardship, relationships and legacy.

Forty, then, from my viewpoint is not an arrival. It is alignment.

It is the vantage point from which I can see the girl I was, the woman I have become and the work still unfolding. It is a decade I intend to live unapologetically. Not in noise, but in conviction. Not in spectacle, but in substance.

Because the truth is this: my life has been marked by challenges, but it has also been marked by extraordinary grace. I have been blessed far beyond what I once imagined possible.

What follows is not merely a list. It is a distillation of four decades of leadership, faith, entrepreneurship, healing and becoming. So in writing these 40 convictions shaped by experience and refined by perspective, I am pouring out what has served as the blueprint of my life till now. I hope they resonate, I hope it helps someone who feels uncertain, bothered, depressed and unloved. I hope it grows someone who is becoming, courageous, healed, whole and alive!

Forty feels like standing on a hill.

You see the girl.
You see the woman.
You see the becoming.

There is less noise now. More knowing.
Less performing. More alignment.

Here are 40 things I know for sure:

1. Find your Source.

For me, it is YAHWEH. Faith has been my compass for 40 years. When I drift, I return. When I rise, I return.

2. Family is everything.

They are imperfect. They can wound. They can water you. Both can exist at once.

3. Let fear speak.

Sometimes what terrifies you is pointing toward your next dimension.

4. Read. Read widely. Read deeply.

Books let you travel realms your feet may never touch.

5. Get your hands ‘dirty’.

Plant something. Raise something. Touch soil. It reminds you that you are part of a cycle, not the centre of it.

6. Watch sunrises and sunsets.

Whenever I enter a new city, I ask for the time of both. Gratitude feels easier in the presence of beauty.

7. Say thank you – often, very often.

Gratitude for “nothing” is grounding. Grounding invites transformation. Never take anything, anyone, any experience for granted.

8. Love. Fully.

Stay soft. Love children. Love animals and nature. Love freely. It is not weakness; it is strength without armour.

9. Find your ONE thing.

That gift that makes you better and the world brighter. Master it.

10. Be kind- especially when tired, wronged, accused, depressed, forsaken or in a difficult situation.

Everyone is carrying something invisible.

11. Give yourself permission to evolve.

As many times as necessary. Reinvention is allowed.

12. Enjoy pleasure without apology.

Food. Travel. Fashion. Intimacy. You are allowed to feel alive.

13. Rest.

It is not laziness. It is repair.

14. Be childlike.

Apologise quickly. Forgive wisely. Stay curious.

15. Do not postpone conviction.

Make the call. Send the message. Invest in the idea.

16. “No” is not the end.

Especially in business. It may simply mean; try another door.

17. Do good anyway.

Even when misunderstood. Even without a reward.

18. Be informed. Be useful.

Like salt; stay subtle but essential.

19. Collaborate.

We are because you are.

20. When you feel lost, seek beauty.

Art can hold you when logic fails.

And because life is layered, here are 20 more:

21.Protect your mornings. They set your rhythm.

22.Keep micro-promises to yourself. Self-trust compounds.

23.Learn to manage your emotions. Regulation is maturity.

24.Curate your inputs. Not every voice deserves access.

25.Build systems, not just dreams.

26.Invest your money intentionally.

27.Document your journey. Memory fades; impact should not.

28.Ask better questions. They change outcomes.

29.Discipline will outlast motivation.

30.Honour your body. It carries your purpose.

31. Give yourself the permission to make mistakes.

32.Lead with clarity. Confusion drains teams.

33.Celebrate quiet wins.

34.Seek therapy if you need it. Strength asks for help.

35.Think legacy, not just survival.

36.Mentor someone. Pour forward.

37.Stay teachable. Ego is expensive.

38.Protect your peace.

39.Choose integrity over applause.

40.Remember: we are here briefly. Let that make you brave.

This decade will be loud – not in noise, but in truth.
Loud in obedience.
Loud in impact.
Loud in joy.

As it is written:

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”  Psalm 90:12

I have numbered mine.
And they have taught me.

With gratitude.
With fire.
With becoming.

xoxo Queen A

Which one feels like it was written for you? Do share !